“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”  Billy Graham

When is it acceptable (or strategic) to be a little less than honest?

Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty.  (Prov. 11:3; NLT)

Yes, I’m honest, but….   And that’s where the dishonesty begins.  Sometimes the person saying it doesn’t even see the discrepancy.  Most of us have mental filters when it comes to honesty.  Brian Klemmer, in his new book, The Compassionate Samurai, uses as an example the quote of a crook: “Of course I’m honest!  I tell people that I’m going to steal from them, and that’s being honest.”

But with honesty, as with many character traits, there is no gray area–no buts.  You either are, or you aren’t honest.  Admittedly, the challenge is often made greater when we don’t even know ourselves well enough to understand what is really the truth.

Sometimes we choose to not disclose the whole truth.  Sometimes we do that to protect our position.  Sometimes we do that to protect the other person from harm.  But in both cases, it’s being dishonest.  Honesty is the whole truth, period!  Now this is not to say that you should feel free to “blast” someone in the name of honesty.  Check your intentions.  Be honest with yourself.  Is your goal to help the other person or just make them feel bad?  There is a right way and wrong way to handle such a situation.  Purposely hurting another to make you feel better is never the right way.

We’ve all grown up hearing, “honesty is the best policy.”  Yes it is–in the long run.  Sometimes there are short-term costs to pay for being honest.  That’s what causes many of us to choose to be less than honest at times.  However, Klemmer documents the long term cost of not being honest as “the loss of intimacy, efficiency, and aliveness.  First, lying destroys the trust the other person has in you.  Once you lie, the veracity of everything you say is in doubt.  Relationships and businesses are based on trust….Second, every time you violate your own principles, it’s like taking a knife and cutting yourself.  A piece of you dies.  It doesn’t matter what principle you violate.  You become less whole; you compromise your integrity.”

This series of character traits of a Samurai as gleaned from Klemmer’s new book will continue for the next several DG’s, only interrupted from time to time when something timely appears.  I would like to think that the series will be helpful to you as we stand at the threshold of a new year.  it’s a great time to examine ourselves and make selective adjustments.  Improvements to character is always a fruitful activity.  If this is resonating with you, I encourage you to get Klemmer’s book.  See the Amazon link in the 12/3/08 DG, “Benefits of Playing Victim”.

Prayer Power
Lord, often the person we’re most dishonest with is You.  We make excuses for our lack of fellowship with You rather than just being honest about our true motives.  How foolhardy!  Do we really think we can deceive our Maker?  Grant us the grace to overcome those tendencies.

Link of the Day
Yes, Integrity Matters!

Blessings on you as you purpose to avoid all temptation to be less than honest.

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