“The internal critic is an idiot posing as a king.”  Donald Robertson

What is one of the things that happened to you yesterday that made you happy or brought you pleasure?

A glad heart makes a happy face; (Pv. 15:13a; NLT)

Let’s serve up one more plate of ANT poison.  If you recall, earlier this week, I spoke of ANTs, an acronym for automatic negative thoughts.  Research shows that as many as 80% of our 60,000 thoughts a day are ANTs.  Further, ANTs tend to stress us out, in effect poisoning the various systems of our bodies.  I also pointed out that we have been divinely equipped to be able to take those thoughts captive as they come to us and either nurture them along to maturity or cast them out before they can take root.

In the last DG we talked about how important it is to recognize that the “little voice” we hear isn’t telling us the truth.  BTW, that “little voice” is the internal critic that Robertson calls an “an idiot posing as a king.”  One of the most powerful doses of ANT poison is to recognize the voice that is telling you how stupid, weak, ineffective, and unable you are, is a cowardly idiot who would never talk to anyone else the way it is talking to you.  Awareness is a huge part of the battle.

Today, I want to finish this little visit to the ANT farm with another suggestion.  This is a slight variation of one of my favorite topics, gratitude.  I have written multiple DGs around the idea of getting in the habit of writing a gratitude list.  This has the effect of focusing the brain on the positive and in effect “wiring new pathways” in the brain. 

This variation on a gratitude list comes from Marci Shimoff and her book Happy for No Reason.  She writes: “To incline your mind toward joy, start registering your happy experiences more deeply.  The first step is to make a conscious decision to look for them.  You can make it a game you play with yourself.  Have the intention to notice everything good that happens to you: any positive thought you have, anything you see, feel, taste, hear, or smell that brings you pleasure, a win you experience, a breakthrough in your understanding about something, an expression of your creativity–the list goes on and on.  This intention activates the reticular activating system.”  (See the 10/17/07 DG for an explanation of the reticular activating system.)

This activity kind of reminds me of the old classic book entitled, The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard.  Bottom line, is that the One-Minute Manager managed by walking around his workplace looking for the good things people were doing, i.e., what they were doing right.  How refreshing!!! 

Now, you may be saying, that this all is a bunch of woo-woo mumbo jumbo.  If that’s how you feel, I am really sad for you.  Most of our problems are located right between our ears!  And, as I said before, the Bible  makes it very clear that we have a choice about the thoughts we allow to stay in our heads.  I love what one of our faithful readers, Cheryl Thomas, wrote earlier in the week.  She said, “I think I may mentally rename my Bible ‘ANT Poison!’” 

What more can be said?  Have an absolutely fantastic weekend looking for your happy experiences.

Prayer Power
Lord, I thank You that we are made in Your image which includes the mental abilities to be able to make choices, even choices about what we think.  Grant us the grace to use that incredible capability wisely.

Link of the Day
How to Get Rid of ANTs

Blessings on you as you go forth with your ANTs under control.
 

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”  Mark Twain

Which do you tend to remember…compliments or criticisms?  Why?

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.  (1 Pet. 5:7; NLT)

If you remember, earlier this week, I spoke of ANTs, an acronym for automatic negative thoughts.  Research shows that as many as 80% of our 60,000 thoughts a day are ANTs.  Further, ANTs tend to stress us out, in effect poisoning the various systems of our bodies.  I also pointed out that we have been divinely equipped to be able to take those thoughts captive as they come to us and either nurture them along to maturity or cast them out before they can take root.

Marci Shimoff, in her book Happy for No Reason, offers a piece of wisdom that most of us never consider.  “Your thoughts aren’t always true.”  She goes on, “You don’t believe everything you hear, do you?  Of course not.  You don’t believe everything your read either.  An in this age of special effects and Photoshop, you certainly can’t believe everything you see.  So…don’t believe everything you think!”

Now, on the surface that may sound pretty obvious, but it’s actually quite profound.  You see, when an ANT crawls into your brain, if you choose to nurture it, it can really drag you down…mentally, physically, and spiritually.  What if that thought was not true?  What a terrible waste of energy to go through all that anguish.  Have you ever noticed that most of the things you worry about never happen?  Calvin Coolidge once said, “If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.”

Most people tend to have a “negativity bias.”  That simply means that given the choice between nurturing a negative thought versus a positive thought, we’ll chose the negative thought over and over again.  Receive ten compliments and one criticism and which one will you dwell on?  If truth be known, most would dwell on the criticism.

Well, the good news (if you choose to believe it) is that you can change your thinking habits.  Remember the DG I did last February (2/6/08) entitled “Plastic Brains?”  In that article, I pointed out that you can “wire” new pathways in your brain, no matter what your age, if you just repeat that path enough.  Therefore, you can choose to break the old habit of “negativity bias” and replace it with a new, purposeful bias toward the positive.  For instance, you can choose to ignore the single criticism (after gleaning anything constructive from it), and purposely bask in the ten compliments.  Every time the criticism pops up, just gently replace it with thoughts of the compliments.  A little hard at first, but it does get easier the more you do it.

So, since we know that we can’t believe everything we think, when you find yourself wrestling with an ANT, simply ask the question, “Can I be absolutely certain that it’s true?  If there is not enough evidence to convict in a courtroom, then simply construct what Marci calls a “turnaround statement,” i.e., a statement that is the exact opposite of the ANT, and choose to nurture the more cheery alternative.  After all, it may be closer to the truth.  Again, like any new skill, this one will require some practice.  But you can do it, and the results are certainly more than worth the effort.

Until Friday, think happy thoughts!  Try making your circumstances the victim of your thinking rather than the other way around.  It works every time.

Prayer Power
Lord, thank You for being the Source that never fails.  When we can truly accept that as truth, a goodly number of our ANTs just disappear.  Hallelujah!!!

Link of the Day
The Annual ANTs Convention

Blessings on you as you purpose to challenge every ANT you see.
 

“So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. I’m not happy. I don’t know what’s wrong. If I just had another job, I could be happy. If I just get married, I would be happy. Well if I just wasn’t married, I would be happy. Well, if I just had some kids, I’ll be happy. I’ll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. If I had a bigger house, I would be happy. Well, I got a big house. Now if I just had a maid to clean, I’d be happy. Well, now if I just had a maid, I could get along with better, I’d be happy.”  Joyce Meyer

What goal are you working toward that will finally make you happy?

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.  (Prov. 3:18; NLT)

On Wednesday, I began a two-part series on the “happiness blockers” from Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy for No Reason.  Wednesday’s happiness blocker was the myth of more and today’s is the myth of I’ll-be-happy-when.  They are obviously very close, but just enough different to justify a separate discussion.

Like the myth of more, we have all fallen prey to this myth as well.  Most of us are very familiar with the tune–I’ll be happy when ________.  You can fill in the blank with any of several hundred goals such as, when the kids are grown, when I get a different job, when I finally get my degree, when I get married, when I retire, when I lose these extra pounds I put on over the holidays, et al.  It’s a never ending list.

And that’s the problem.  It’s a never ending list.  Accomplish one goal and you’re elated–for a nanosecond or two.  Then it’s off to the next, and the next, and the next, forever.  It always puts happiness in the future.  Future happiness isn’t worth much.  Happiness is a now thing. 

Is it bad to have goals and aspirations?  No!  Not at all!  But what’s bad is to tie your happiness to them.  Far better to be happy while you’re achieving your goals rather than defer your happiness until you have achieved it.

Marci sums it up well in her book, “To become happier we have to snap out of the trance that your happiness rests in ‘more and better’ which we’ll get ’someday.’  No matter what we have, Happy for No Reason exists only now, now, not later.”

Prayer Power
Lord, we have so very much to be thankful for.  A list would be virtually endless.  Forgive us when we so easily turn our focus from how blessed we are to what we want next, and next, and next.

Link of the Day
I’ll Be Happy When…

Blessings on you as you choose to be happy right now.
 

“Who is rich?  He who is happy with his lot.”  The Talmud

When did you last get something that you had been wanting for a long time?  How did it make you feel?

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little.  (Phil. 4:11; NLT)

Last month, I did a short series on three guiding principles to achieve “Happiness for No Reason” from Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy for No Reason.  (See 2/13, 2/15, 2/18 DG.)  To finish out this week, I’d like to give you two “happiness blockers” from that same book.  You may find these hitting a little close to home in some respects…I know I did.

The blocker we’ll look at today is what Marci calls “The Myth of More.”  I’m sure you can already figure out the gist of this little guy.  The more I have, the better I’ll feel and the happier I’ll be.  As my Mom used to say, “Balderdash!!!”  I believe that most of us know intuitively that this is not true, and our intuition is backed up by plenty of statistics and surveys.  Money will not buy happiness!!!

Since we all know that fact, why do we so easily forget it?  Largely because we are bombarded with messages extolling the virtues of having more, having bigger, and having better hundreds of times each and every day!  There is virtually no escape unless you become a recluse to our culture.  Our whole economy seems to be built on rapidly growing the consumer demand.  With all those messages telling us that having more will make us happier, it has to erode our belief to the contrary…even if just on a subconscious level.

The remedy?  I don’t necessarily have a “quick fix.”  However,  we can begin by recognizing what is going on and consciously and purposefully take action to fill our mind with the truth.  Take the time to reflect on the last time or two you satisfied that urge to acquire something because you knew it would make you happier.  How long did the new-found happiness last?  I can’t deny that it is a constant battle, but the more you can fill your mind with thoughts of gratitude the less susceptible you will be to fall prey to the Myth of More.  Remember that happiness and contentment is an inside job and will never come from the outside in.

Prayer Power
Lord, forgive us for those many times when we get caught up in the “I need more” syndrome.  Thank You for being the supplier of all of our needs.

Link of the Day
Money Won’t Buy You Happiness

Blessings on you as you write in your “gratitude journal” today.

“Everything you want is an inside job!  The outside world is the world of effects; it’s just the result of thoughts.  Set your thoughts and frequency on happiness.”  Rhonda Byrne

What’s standing between you and happiness?

Praise the LORD! Happy are those who fear the LORD. Yes, happy are those who delight in doing what he commands.  (Psalms 112:1; NLT)

The last couple of issues of DG have been focusing on Marci Shimoff’s latest book, Happy for No Reason.  In one of the early chapters she outlines three guiding principles that the interviewed “Happy 100″  said helped them “become, or remain, Happy for No Reason.”  The third, and final, principle  is simply, “what you appreciate, appreciates.”

While Marci writes that this principle is based on the Law of Attraction (LOA), I prefer to think of gratitude as being the underlying foundation.  Gratitude and the LOA are closely linked, but unfortunately the latter has become a “lightening rod” issue with many over the last several years.  This sensitivity has largely arisen from the controversy over the hugely popular movie and book, The Secret.  (You may have recognized the author of today’s quote as being the creator and producer of The Secret.)  I personally find that The Secret boosted my faith in God’s magnificent plan to provide for us, but too many saw it as proposing that we don’t need God.  But, I don’t want to uncork that debate here.  I prefer to focus on one of my favorite topics–gratitude.  Totally non-controversial and kinda like “Mom and apple pie.”

Remember that Paul admonished us to let  our “lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done”  (Col. 2:7; NLT).  Of course, this ties into Marci’s second principle of a supportive God that we looked at last Friday, but the idea here is that because like attracts like, when you focus on those feelings of gratitude, more such feelings are “drawn” to you.  Another way of saying the same thing is, whatever you focus on expands.  And remember that Paul also told us to focus on the positive (Phil. 4:8).  This is not a new idea, but one that we seem to need to be reminded of almost daily (hourly for some of us).

I really resonate with Marci’s statement, “Many people focus on using the Law of Attraction to draw in the things they think will make them happy.  But that’s backwards.  Being happy is what draws in the things we want.”  Right on!!!  That’s like those who say that they’ll become givers as soon as they have more money.  It never works that way…you have to “be” before you can “do.”

Be “Happy for No Reason,” and you will attract the reasons to be happy.

Prayer Power
Lord, we thank You that You designed us to be happy…no matter what.  We invite you to do whatever You find necessary to remind us that there is much around us at all times be happy about.

Link of the Day
Happy for No Reason

Blessings on you as you attract some happiness your way this day.
 

“The single most important decision any of us will ever have to make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly.”  Albert Einstein

When you hear someone speak of “the universe,” what does that evoke in you?

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  (Romans 8:28; NLT)

I’m afraid I can hear some of you now…boy, he’s been reading too many of those books and has started talking about the universe.  Wooo-wooo!!  Well, hopefully I’m not as far gone as you may think.  I believe that references to the universe are often euphemisms used by many to refer to God.  Bear with me as I explain in the context of happiness.

Yes, I’m still writing about happiness and specifically Marci Shimoff’s newest book, Happy for No Reason.  Today, I would like to explore the second of three guiding principles  that Marci observed played a significant role in all of the “Happy 100″ that she interviewed which helped them “become, or remain, Happy for No Reason.”  That second principle is “The universe is out to support you.”  Now, if I were writing that principle, I would prefer to say, “God is out to support you,” but it’s her book.

Marci, reports that the Happy 100 would all shout “Yes!” if presented with the question, “Is this a friendly universe?”  She writes, “Rather than thinking the universe is out to get them, they believe the universe is out to support them.”  This attitude prevails not just when things are going their way, but all the time.  “When something bad occurs, they don’t moan and groan, ‘Why me? It’s not fair.’  They see all the events in their lives through the lens of ‘Ultimately, this is happening for my good.  There are no mistakes.  Let me look for the blessing in this.’” 

(I love it when God shows me a Bible verse virtually quoted in a secular book.  Remember the discovery of Philippians 4:8 in Monday’s DG?  Today, it seems that Romans 8:28 is jumping off the page.)

Oh that more of us who so quickly and easily quote Romans 8:28 would act like we truly believe it when we’re on the receiving end of some of life’s blows.  (Please understand that I’m absolutely including myself in that group.  There’s no question that my “set-point” needs to be adjusted.)  How exciting is the thought that “There are no mistakes.  Let me look for the blessing in this.”  Seems to me that this would be a ticket off of life’s roller-coaster of emotions  we so often find ourselves riding.

Prayer Power
Lord, we thank You for the promise of Romans 8:28.  We’ve all seen it worked out countless times.  Now, we specifically ask that You give us even greater grace to live that verse from our hearts rather than just from our heads.

Link of the Day
Happy for No Reason

Blessings on you as you purpose to search for the blessings in the “not so good” as easily as you find them in the good.
 

“When your energy expands, you experience greater happiness; when your energy contracts, you experience less happiness.”  Marci Shimoff

How much attention do you pay to how you feel?

The godly can look forward to happiness, while the wicked can expect only wrath.  (Proverbs 11:23; NLT)

Sharon blessed me with a GPS for Christmas.  Now I consider myself a fairly technical savvy guy, but I’ll have to admit that the GPS blows my mind.  I just can’t imagine the programming and technology behind that little beauty.  Anyway, what does a GPS have to do with happiness?  Well, if you’re ever lost and someone hands you a GPS, I believe you will instantly see the connection.  Seriously though, that is not what this is about.

As a follow-up to Monday’s DG on Marci Shimoff’s newest book, Happy for No Reason, she talks of the group of “100 truly happy people” which she interviewed for her book.  Through the interviews she observed three guiding principles  that played a significant role in all of them to help them “become, or remain, Happy for No Reason.”  The first principle is “what expands you makes you happier.”

She writes, “Science has shown that everything in the universe, including you, is composed of energy.  Everything you say, think, or do, everything you’re around, either expands your energy or contracts it.  When your energy expands you experience greater happiness; when your energy contracts, you experience less happiness.”

Since we were designed to have control over our thoughts (see 2 Cor. 10:5) we can choose to think the thoughts, which create the feelings, which create the behaviors that expands our energy rather than contracts it.  “Raising your happiness set-point is a matter of developing those habits that expand your energy….Expansion is your highway to happiness.  You can use this guiding principle to see if you are moving toward happiness by being aware of how contracted or expanded you feel throughout the day.”

Voila!  There’s your happiness GPS!  If you’re feeling happy, love, optimism, acceptance, well-being, et al., then the little GPS voice tells you to continue on in the same direction.  If, on the other hand, you’re feeling unhappy, fear, pessimism, resistance, low energy, et al., then the little GPS voice is telling you to turn around!  You’re going in the wrong direction!

The question of the day is, “Are you listening to that ’still, small’ voice?”

Prayer Power
Lord, we so often don’t listen to that still, small voice that you designed to be our guidance system.  Please turn up the volume so we can clearly hear it over the hectic lifestyles most of us tend to live.

Link of the Day
Happy for No Reason

Blessings on you as you begin to use your happiness GPS.
 

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”  Aristotle

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how happy would you say you usually are?

And city dwellers and farmers and shepherds alike will live together in peace and happiness.  (Jeremiah 31:24, NLT)

I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that I’m coming back to the happiness theme.  No, I’m not going to expound more on the “30 Happiness Tips” (DG 1/4/08) that I referred to so often last month…I actually have a new resource that I’ll be drawing from for the next several Daily Grams.  I just started reading Happy for No Reason: 7  Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out by Marci Shimoff (Free Press, 2008) and have been fascinated by some of what she’s written.  You’ve perhaps heard of Marci as she wrote Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul as well as five more Chicken Soup for the Soul books that have sold over 13 million copies.  I’ve not read enough of her latest book to fully recommend it yet, but as I said, I’ve found some of it to be fascinating.

The book highlights a lot of recent research that has shown that “happiness isn’t an abstract emotion; [rather] it’s a physiological state that can be measured…characterized by distinct brain activity, heart rhythms, and body chemistry.”  What Aristotle called  the goal of all goals has been validated to show that “happy people live longer, are healthier, and have better relationships…[and have] more success in every area of…life.”

Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that everyone is entitled to the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  But I learned from Marci’s book that when Jefferson penned that famous statement, the word “pursuit” meant “to practice” rather than “to chase after.”  Dispelling the common notion that  happiness is something to pursue emerges as one of the major themes of the book.  Rather than pursue that which we can never quite catch, Marci makes the point that we can learn new habits in our daily living that will produce happiness, allowing us to practice it as originally advocated by our good friend, Tom.

Another fascinating gem from the book is the discovery that “scientists have found that we each have a ‘happiness set-point,’ the genetic and learned tendency to remain at a certain level of happiness, similar to a thermostat setting on a furnace.”  The good news emerging from this finding is that due to the recently discovered neuroplasticity of the brain (DG 2/6/08), we now understand that we can change that happiness set-point.  (Hallelujah!!!  Some of us sure need to act on that little tip!)  You see, while half of our set-point is genetic and half is learned, “it appears that only 10 percent of our [learned] happiness set-point is determined by circumstances such as our level of wealth, marital status, and job.  The other 40 percent is determined by our habitual thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.”  Hmmmm…where have I heard those ideas before.  Kinda reminds me of Philippians 4:8.  Don’t you agree?

Today’s link is the Amazon link for Marci’s book.  Again, it’s premature for me to make a wholehearted endorsement for the book yet, but if what I have written about it so far peaks your curiosity, have at it.  But as with all books, be prepared to “eat the meat and spit out the bones.”

Prayer Power
Lord, I keep coming back to the thought of being “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  And now to see the all too often unbelieving science community verifying that truth with their latest “revolutionary” discoveries is great fun to watch.  I pray that discoveries like these will open the door for more and more to become believers.

Link of the Day
Happy for No Reason

Blessings on you as you “Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”