“Newness is all about perception.”  Jonathan Wells

What is your favorite thing to hate?  Do you enjoy hating that thing (or person) so much that you would be unwilling to change?

A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.  (Prov. 15:17; NLT)

Jonathan Wells, whom I quoted above, has become one of my favorite bloggers.  I’ve included what I believe is his most recent post, titled “What Remains When the Newness Wears Off?” as today’s link.  It’s a very insightful post about the balance needed between staying adaptable to change while at the same time not taking the valuable things in your life for granted, i.e., losing the appreciation and gratitude that you had when they were new.

His post speaks of both things and of relationships, and much like he did in his post, I’m going to focus more on the relationships side of things for my thoughts today.  I heard a story over the weekend of a man and his wife who were having a particularly difficult disagreement.  After a period of heated exchange, the man literally walked out of the house in a huff, just to get away from the conflict for a bit.  (By the way, it’s often a very important strategy of conflict, to call a temporary time out to let emotions cool a bit — but that should always be a mutually agreed upon temporary truce and not just a unilateral turn tail and walk out like done in this particular story.)

As the story teller was stomping through the woods close to his house, getting angrier and angrier with each stomp because he was totally focused and consumed by the injustices he felt were being foisted upon him, he suddenly had a “left-field thought” pop into his head, “What was it about your wife that drew you to her in the first place?”  As he allowed that train of thought to gain momentum, his anger mysteriously began to disappear — replaced by gratitude and appreciation for the relationship he and is wife had developed over the years.

To make a short story even shorter, in a fairly small amount of time, this gentleman had completely lost his anger, totally changed his attitude toward his wife, and was eager to get back to the house to tell her how much he loved her, appreciated her, and to ask her forgiveness for the part he had played in the earlier tiff.  Since she could see the sincerity in his eyes, she was quick to accept his apology, offered her own, and the issue moved from one of volatility to one of mutual agreement regarding the outcome.

It’s an amazing story, which illustrates my post of two days ago regarding the ability we all have to “flip the switch” on our emotions by simply changing what we are thinking about.  This whole idea of gratitude and appreciation is vital to any and every relationship.

The same kind of thinking extends far beyond your mate.  It extends to your job or career, to your possessions, to where you live, or to just about anything.  You can always find something good to say about anything.  Hate your job?  Maybe so.  But I can promise you that there are some good features about your job.  Maybe it’s a steady paycheck.  Maybe it’s because it’s indoors rather than out in the rain.  Maybe because you are given time each day to eat.  You may have to dig a little, but I promise you that you can find a few good things about almost anything.  And I’ll also promise you that if you find those two or three good things and focus your thoughts on them, that it won’t be long before your attitude will do a complete turn-around.

How cool is that?  Virtually no effort required.  Just focus on the good things and watch the world all around you change right before your very eyes.

Prayer Power
Father, help us to remember to look for the good in those things we are not terribly fond of so that we can experience this miracle of an attitude change right before our own eyes.  Show us how to be good-finders.

Link of the Day
What Remains When the Newness Wears Off?

Blessings on you as you take steps to show your gratitude and appreciation to someone close to you this week.

Photo by h.koppdelaney