“So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. I’m not happy. I don’t know what’s wrong. If I just had another job, I could be happy. If I just get married, I would be happy. Well if I just wasn’t married, I would be happy. Well, if I just had some kids, I’ll be happy. I’ll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. If I had a bigger house, I would be happy. Well, I got a big house. Now if I just had a maid to clean, I’d be happy. Well, now if I just had a maid, I could get along with better, I’d be happy.”  Joyce Meyer

What goal are you working toward that will finally make you happy?

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.  (Prov. 3:18; NLT)

On Wednesday, I began a two-part series on the “happiness blockers” from Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy for No Reason.  Wednesday’s happiness blocker was the myth of more and today’s is the myth of I’ll-be-happy-when.  They are obviously very close, but just enough different to justify a separate discussion.

Like the myth of more, we have all fallen prey to this myth as well.  Most of us are very familiar with the tune–I’ll be happy when ________.  You can fill in the blank with any of several hundred goals such as, when the kids are grown, when I get a different job, when I finally get my degree, when I get married, when I retire, when I lose these extra pounds I put on over the holidays, et al.  It’s a never ending list.

And that’s the problem.  It’s a never ending list.  Accomplish one goal and you’re elated–for a nanosecond or two.  Then it’s off to the next, and the next, and the next, forever.  It always puts happiness in the future.  Future happiness isn’t worth much.  Happiness is a now thing. 

Is it bad to have goals and aspirations?  No!  Not at all!  But what’s bad is to tie your happiness to them.  Far better to be happy while you’re achieving your goals rather than defer your happiness until you have achieved it.

Marci sums it up well in her book, “To become happier we have to snap out of the trance that your happiness rests in ‘more and better’ which we’ll get ’someday.’  No matter what we have, Happy for No Reason exists only now, now, not later.”

Prayer Power
Lord, we have so very much to be thankful for.  A list would be virtually endless.  Forgive us when we so easily turn our focus from how blessed we are to what we want next, and next, and next.

Link of the Day
I’ll Be Happy When…

Blessings on you as you choose to be happy right now.
 

“Who is rich?  He who is happy with his lot.”  The Talmud

When did you last get something that you had been wanting for a long time?  How did it make you feel?

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little.  (Phil. 4:11; NLT)

Last month, I did a short series on three guiding principles to achieve “Happiness for No Reason” from Marci Shimoff’s book, Happy for No Reason.  (See 2/13, 2/15, 2/18 DG.)  To finish out this week, I’d like to give you two “happiness blockers” from that same book.  You may find these hitting a little close to home in some respects…I know I did.

The blocker we’ll look at today is what Marci calls “The Myth of More.”  I’m sure you can already figure out the gist of this little guy.  The more I have, the better I’ll feel and the happier I’ll be.  As my Mom used to say, “Balderdash!!!”  I believe that most of us know intuitively that this is not true, and our intuition is backed up by plenty of statistics and surveys.  Money will not buy happiness!!!

Since we all know that fact, why do we so easily forget it?  Largely because we are bombarded with messages extolling the virtues of having more, having bigger, and having better hundreds of times each and every day!  There is virtually no escape unless you become a recluse to our culture.  Our whole economy seems to be built on rapidly growing the consumer demand.  With all those messages telling us that having more will make us happier, it has to erode our belief to the contrary…even if just on a subconscious level.

The remedy?  I don’t necessarily have a “quick fix.”  However,  we can begin by recognizing what is going on and consciously and purposefully take action to fill our mind with the truth.  Take the time to reflect on the last time or two you satisfied that urge to acquire something because you knew it would make you happier.  How long did the new-found happiness last?  I can’t deny that it is a constant battle, but the more you can fill your mind with thoughts of gratitude the less susceptible you will be to fall prey to the Myth of More.  Remember that happiness and contentment is an inside job and will never come from the outside in.

Prayer Power
Lord, forgive us for those many times when we get caught up in the “I need more” syndrome.  Thank You for being the supplier of all of our needs.

Link of the Day
Money Won’t Buy You Happiness

Blessings on you as you write in your “gratitude journal” today.

“Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.”  Randy Pausch, Ph.D.

If you had only months to live, what kind of legacy would you want to leave behind?

Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Rejoice. Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.  (2 Cor. 13:11; NLT)

Our good friend, Janet Kennon, recently sent me a link to a replay of an 11-minute segment from the Oprah Show.  This story definitely falls into our list of “overcomers.”  Perhaps you’ve seen this as it’s getting phenomenal play on the internet (over 6 million views), but in case you haven’t, I can’t urge you enough to take a few minutes and watch.

The background goes like this.  Dr. Randy Pausch was an extremely bright and popular, young computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University.  Last September, he gave “My Last Lecture” before over 400 students and faculty at the university.  The “My Last Lecture” is apparently a long standing series that allows professors to deliver a lecture that answers the question, “If you had one last lecture to give before you died, what would it be?”

Dr. Paush’s lecture was a bit more poignant than others in the series given the fact that he was losing the battle against pancreatic cancer, and the doctors had only given him a few months to live.  (The full Carnegie Mellon lecture is on YouTube if any of you want to watch it after you see the shorter version he did for Oprah’s audience.  You can watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo.  Warning–it’s 75 minutes long, and very inspiring to watch.)

This is not a tear-jerker video.  Dr. Pausch is not making the presentation to elicit sympathy nor pity.  The whole thing is very upbeat and inspirational to say the least.  One of the quotes of Dr. Pausch from the Ophra version is, “I can’t control the cards I’m dealt–just how I play the hand.”  There’s really not much more that I can say that would add to the story. 

I encourage you to watch the video.  It will definitely make you think.

Prayer Power
Lord, we pray for a miracle of healing for Randy Pausch.  Clearly this young man has a lot to say that we all need to hear.  We thank You for the technology that has allowed millions of people to already be impacted by that message.

Link of the Day
Randy Pausch on Ophra

Blessings on you as you reflect on the attitude of this brave man.