“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”  Richard Bach

Why is it so hard to take responsibility for something that did not turn out as planned? 

…the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten the fruit I commanded you not to eat?” 
“Yes,” Adam admitted, “but it was the woman you gave me who brought me the fruit, and I ate it.”  (Gen. 3:11b,12; NLT)

Like the proverbial frog in the kettle, our culture seems to be gradually teaching us to be victims and thereby avoid any responsibility for our situation. Have you noticed how many conversations are simply a rehashing of all the things that are going wrong in an attempt to elicit sympathy and shift blame for the unfortunate situation that exists?

If you see yourself falling into that trap, maybe it would be helpful to have an objective “outsider” help you change your perspective so as to accept a measure of responsibility for what is happening to you.  (Hint…that one things life coaches are trained to do.)

Let me be quick to emphasize that accepting responsibility is not necessarily accepting fault or blame, but is simply recognizing that what is happening is largely a result of choices that have been made.

This distinction between victim and responsible is vitally important. When someone is a victim, there is absolutely no hope for a solution, because by definition, you can’t be a victim and have a solution as well.  It’s all somebody else’s fault and since you are not in control of their actions, there is no way to change things, short of changing them…which may or may not be feasible.

Absolutely every situation can be looked at from a different viewpoint, i.e., one of having some responsibility.  If some measure of responsibility is accepted, then solutions immediately become possible.  We can’t say that this will always guarantee success, but certainly any possibility of success provides more reason for optimism than the zero chance that the victim mentality provides.

This means that one of the fundamental choices we all have in life is to choose to be responsible for our circumstances or to be victimized by them.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned that it’s no fun at all to be a victim.  It’s exciting to know that I have a choice in the matter.

Prayer Power
Lord, we thank You that Your grace and unconditional love is greater than any error that we may responsible for.  Help us to realize that often more is learned by making a mistake and understanding why it was a mistake than by being right.

Link of the Day
Communicating with a Victim

Blessings on you as you step up and shoulder a new level of responsibility this week.